Episode 15
“Courtship and the Orthodox Marriage”
With Fr. Josiah Trenham
- When to start pursuing a serious relationship: to have to come to maturity as an individual; your faith must become your own, not your parents’
- Adolescents vs. Adults: wanting to be cared for vs. wanting to care for others
- Learn how to be around members of the opposite sex in a traditional, non-sexualized way
- Hold onto your heart with both hands and don’t let go
- If you think you’ve found the one, ask the people in your life for their insight
- Get permission before you “launch”; individualized dating is a Western influence and is not traditional
- Play your role faithfully – men are initiators, women are responders
- Things are not, and should not be, equal
- Don’t defraud your brother
- Until he crowns are on your head, you do not know that you will marry this person
- Be content-oriented rather than entertainment-oriented in your dating life
- Interact with significant people, go to important places
- Don’t talk directly about (you two) getting married; this takes away authority from a girl’s father
- You shouldn’t stop “dating” once you get married
- Setting time aside to connect and communicate is important
- Marriage is a young plant when it is given; you must nurture it to become a strong tree with roots – one that can bear fruit and weather troubles
- Purposes for marriage: “Be prepared to do business; if you’re not ready, get ready”
- Companionship – you have to view your marriage as sacred companionship. Your spouse must be your best friend, no matter how many friends you had before (and your friend group may test this, in a sense, once you get married)
- A solution for our sexual nature; turning lust into love and taming our passions
- “Be faithful and multiply” – multiply the image of God on the earth; you cannot reject this purpose and accept the other two